I am a terrible mother. No, no – stop. Don’t try to contradict me! I am. Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE the bones of my kids. I do almost everything and anything I can for them. But I’m still a bad mom. I have an awful secret…
I’m dreading their summer vacation from school.
There. I’ve said it. Judge me as you see fit.
I love my kids. All the time. Does that mean I want to SPEND all the time with them? Nope.
See? Told you. I’m a horrible mother.
I see tweets and Facebook statuses from super-moms who are actually EXCITED by the prospect of having their kids in their hair, I mean, at home, ALL summer. I would like to have what they’re having. I am envious of their motherly joy and anticipation of more time with their children.
I discussed this recently with a friend, who claimed she “can’t wait” for summer holidays. When I asked her why, she had 2 reasons: she wouldn’t have to get up early and get her 4 kidlets out the door for school every morning (FOUR! Lordy, Lordy, how DOES she do it??), and she felt a sense of relief that they were more safe under her watchful eye than when they were at school, where she worries about them.
The not-having-to-get-up part I get, although I will categorically state that this chick who loves sleep will GLADLY get up at 6:30am if it means a full day of free babysitting at the local JK classroom. The safety part I’d never even considered. I hope they are just as safe at school as they are at home.
I’m not the Martha Stewart of mothering, I confess. I do not have all kinds of fun crafts and activities planned for my kids to do over the summer. I’ve planned swimming lessons, dance camp and nature camps. But not for them, for me. For MY benefit. I’ve strategically registered them for camp or activities every other week so that I have some sort of break after spending a full week WITH them.
Told ya so. Bad mama.
And my kidlets are not even BAD kids. They are easily entertained with the TV, iPad, LeapPad, laptop, colouring or X-Box. Note the lack of adult involvement required for these activities. I have it good, I know. Yet somehow having to give up my 2 or 3 days a week of silence is what I’m crying over (Captain Sassypants only goes to school every other day for this past year). My kids are TALKERS. Non-stop talkers. Constant talkers. And sadly, not the kind that talks to themselves. They expect verbal interaction. With me. Sometimes about the most incredibly boring topics you could never wish to imagine.
Or they squabble and whine. OH, the squabbling and whining. Did I mention the backtalk?
My kids are GOOD kids, lest you think they are little monsters based on how I’m whining here myself. They really are, everyone tells me so.
It’s not about them. It’s me. I’m a rotten mom, like I said.
I have exactly FOUR more days of freedom..uhh, school left for Baby Girl. Four. Then will begin the summer of my discontent…
Please somebody tell me I’m not the only mom who feels this way – give my misery some company.
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